The world we live in is a battlefield. Beneath the surface of civility lies an unseen battlefield, but this conflict is not waged with weapons of steel or brute force. No, the battle is psychological and emotional.
At every turn, life continuously serves up painful psychological and emotional attacks, violating our equilibrium and sending us reeling.
Every day of life will carry within it a pack of these psychological and emotional dogs that seek to up-end your sense of composure. For many, navigating these emotions can feel like walking through a battlefield where some give in to conditions unfavorable for them, and others create favorable conditions for themselves.
What if there was a system not just to survive this war but to thrive on this invisible battlefield?
Given the intensifying pace of living today, emotional intelligence has come to feel like the most vital intelligence of all. The secret is to develop Emotional Intelligence to identify these patterns and react rather than respond.
The Concept Of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the shadow weapon of the true power-player. It allows you to perceive, control and bend the emotions – yours and that of others – at will. To have it is an almost supernatural advantage, for emotions are the most powerful influence that shapes human behavior. The expression ‘Emotional Intelligence’ (EI) really hit the popular culture thanks to the psychologist Daniel Goleman through his book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (1995). There, he argues that EI is almost as important as intelligence quotient (IQ) – the pure-analytical form of intelligence that is used as a shorthand to describe reasoning ability – in determining success, both at work and life in general.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is defined as the ability, competency, sensitivity, or skill to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions and those of others. It can be described as the way we perceive and process emotions – how much we can reflect on them and think through the challenges they pose in relationships, especially while remaining in control of the situation.
The Five Key Components Of Emotional Intelligence
The five key components of emotional intelligence were popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman, who emphasized its importance in personal and professional development
These key components are;
1. Self-Awareness:
This means being in touch with your feelings; your capacity to recognise and appreciate what your emotions mean for you, or how they impact your thinking, behaviour and decisions. Self-aware people have a reasonably good sense of what they are feeling at any given time, and what they’re good – or not so good – at.
2. Self-Regulation:
When you are aware of your emotions, what next? Emotional regulation refers to managing your feelings so they do not manage you. For example, you might need to control impulses, stay calm, or be flexible in the moment.
3. Motivation:
High EI people are motivated to achieve and succeed, but not only because they are extrinsically motivated by money and fame. They are motivated by internal goals, grit and by an approach-motivated trait known as hopefulness, which remains appointed and optimistic in the face of hardships and adversities.
4. Empathy:
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, when you cultivate emotional intelligence you are able to put yourself in other people’s shoes and respond with sensitivity to the emotions of others. This helps in forming stronger, more compassionate relationships.
5. Social Skills:
This involves effective relationship management, clear communication, successful conflict mediation, and the kind of positive influence or inspiration that gets people excited about achieving goals. Supportive social skills are vital for effective teamwork, leadership and for creating lasting business relationships.
Introducing the “Inner Working” Method: A Path to Emotional Mastery
While emotional intelligence is widely studied and understood, many struggle with practically applying it in their daily lives.
How Emotional Intelligence Transformed My Life
For a long time, I found myself deeply affected by the actions of others. People would pull on my emotions, and I would hold onto that pain for weeks. I would feel scared and angry and sometimes even retaliate by engaging in heated arguments or fights. It was exhausting. The weight of these unresolved emotions drained my energy and left me feeling powerless.
But then something changed. I no longer felt triggered by these same situations. I gained control over my emotions, no longer allowing them to dictate my reactions or affect my peace. The tool that helped me achieve this transformation? Inner Workings.
Introduction To The Inner Working(Journaling) Method
Inner Working, as I prefer to call it, is a method that combines emotional self-awareness and regulation through structured reflection, primarily in the form of journaling. Here’s how it works:
Identify Emotional Triggers: These triggers often come in form of anger, fear, doubt, and anxiety. Recognize when someone or something has pulled on your emotions, take a moment to detach from the situation.
Create a Safe Space for Expression: This could be a diary or another outlet where you feel free to express yourself without judgment.
Write It All Down: Pour out your emotions on paper. Be specific—name the individuals or situations that triggered you, and describe how their actions made you feel.
Analyze and Reflect: This is the core of the Inner Workings Method. Once you’ve documented the emotion and the situation, engage in a written dialogue with yourself. Ask questions like:
Why did I react this way?
What beliefs or thoughts contributed to my emotional response?
Could I view this situation differently? As you answer, you’ll uncover deeper reasons behind your emotional reactions.
Decide on a Course of Action: Decide how to proceed, whether it involves setting boundaries, letting go, or cutting off communication. This step emphasizes emotional regulation and helps create lasting emotional peace.
Why Journaling Helps Emotional Intelligence
Writing allows you to slow down and explore your emotions in a structured way. The Inner Workings Method isn’t about venting or simply recording your day; it’s about deliberate reflection on your emotional responses. By consistently practising this form of journaling, you can:
Build a deeper connection with your emotions.
Understand the reasons behind recurring emotional patterns.
Develop healthier coping mechanisms over time.
The Inner Workings Method turns your journal into a space for emotional exploration and healing, providing a clear path to emotional and spiritual growth. As you learn these skills, you will start to realise that you, rather than your feelings, are in charge of your emotions. You’ll find yourself gaining control over your emotions rather than being controlled by them.
